so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
