It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
