i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
