You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize