If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
