you guys were way drunker than both of me
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
