then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
