do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
