Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize