i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
