So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize