Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
