singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
