Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
