Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
