JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
