God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's shark week go big or go home
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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