i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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