Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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