so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
