So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
