she looked like the bat from fern gully.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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