this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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