i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
