Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He better not be in your backpack
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
