yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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