try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
