you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize
