I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
