tell your sister to shave her snatch
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
