You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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