I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
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