so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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