capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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