Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
