I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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