Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
