i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We are all done wearing pants today
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
