A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
