You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
