I just pynch a tree in the face
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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