dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
