it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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