Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
