Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
