You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
