I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
