What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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