Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Randomize
