Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
