can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
