Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
