I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize