Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize