I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Randomize
