her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
