sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
