just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
