so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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