sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
