I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
