so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
